


shades of trust

by tauri



Category: Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 15:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18285101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tauri/pseuds/tauri
Summary: Diantha trusts Malva. Malva isn't so sure.





	shades of trust

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 31_days challenge: 28-01-2016 - "There are many shades of trust, and most of them are grey."

" _... and I trust you, so_ \--"

Days after the conversation, Malva couldn't remember the context for that one phrase that had thrown her so hard. Like the content of most of her conversation, Diantha's words had likely been inconsequential - perhaps she'd been talking of Pokémon League matters or of the restaurant she planned to eat at, Malva didn't care to remember. However, at some point had come _opinion_ and Diantha had said _that_ , and Malva didn't know _what_ to think. At the time, she knew that - whatever it had been - she'd laughed it off, likely voicing disdain for whatever it was Diantha wanted her to care about. Malva knew that she had the ability to be able to recommend restaurants across Kalos (or beyond) if she should so wish, but knew that that would be a much friendlier conversation than she was willing to have.

Their interaction had been like this for so long that Malva felt no need to change it. They could be friendlier... perhaps, if she wanted. If she felt like holding up fake smiles for longer than usual. In a strange sort of a way, it perhaps indicated closeness more that Malva didn't feel the need to do so, not in front of Diantha. She felt aware of that, and hated it. She wasn't sure that Diantha hadn't also picked up on that, and hated that, too.

Rationally, Malva supposed that Diantha saying something like that - even in such an offhanded sort of a way - was for the best. She'd somehow gained Diantha's trust? Good. Fine. That worked. Better to be trusted than to be suspected. It was tempting to think ' _it's because you're weak that you can say that so easily_ ', but Malva knew that she couldn't fool even herself into actually believing that.

 _Let her trust you. Don't give her any reason not to._ (The more Malva thought about it, the more those words got under her skin. Deep enough to settle, there and _irritating_.)

It was perhaps a week afterward that Malva raised the subject again. _Make it flirty. Make it seem like a joke._ _She's earnest enough to fall for that._ Settled in one of the luxurious break rooms at the Pokémon League building, Diantha sat up to stir sugar into her tea as Malva reclined against the sofa opposite.

"You know... it's cute that you trust me, Diantha."

Diantha set the teaspoon aside, glancing up as she did so. "Oh? Are there reasons why I shouldn't?"

"I'm just saying." _You have no reason to. There are a million reasons why you shouldn't. Why the hell would you!?_ "It's cute. That's all."

"You're a very trustworthy woman, Malva--! You're responsible, you're hard-working, you give your all against the Pokémon trainers who come here... I know your job must have you so busy, heading off across the region for this or for that, but you always manage to get the important information and the best news stories... it's really impressive! You have a good eye for what should be reported and what should be downplayed, you research your stories before you run them--..."

"I'm not saying that any of that isn't true, of course, but that doesn't tell me anything. Those are all things that I _do_ , but they're not--..." The thought of going any deeper into the distinction felt suddenly annoying. "... Nevermind. It doesn't matter."

"I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't mention something if it wasn't important. It's been a while since we had that conversation, so for you to mention it now? That means it's been playing on your mind. Therefore..." Having prepared her tea to perfection, Diantha took a sip from the cup. "It most certainly _does_ matter."

"... You're very perceptive."

"Thank you. I do try."

To a degree, conversations with Diantha felt like playing an elaborate game. Obviously, there was a lot that she couldn't know, should never be told about. The aim was to keep ahead of her; however, she was skilled, and that perception of hers showed itself like a cunning move - not enough to take the board, but enough for a moment of peril. She didn't know the rules and she didn't know that this _was_ a game, which gave Malva the advantage. However, there were moments - tiny, brief, small enough that they were barely anything at all - in which Malva would _wonder_. And it had been a foolish move to make in the first place, to raise the subject again. An unthinking move that had dropped a line of defense, and Malva hadn't really followed up on the deduction presented, and knew that the silence in that moment was much, much too loud.

"... I just think that it's interesting. You're the sort of person who sees the good in everyone, and trusts easily. Must be nice."

"I don't know where you got _that_ impression from."

"Hm?"

Diantha smiled. "Much like you, I wouldn't deny your words, but I'm not sure I could believe them, either. Certainly, I do believe that there is good to be seen in everyone. To say that my trust is easy to come by... I wonder. I wouldn't say that I _don't_ trust people, but I think you make it sound easier than it actually is." She laughed gently. "It's quite a deep thing to level at somebody all of a sudden. I'm sure we could have many fascinating conversations over ' _what is trust?_ ' and ' _is it ever possible to trust other people?_ '... Wouldn't you find that fascinating?"

"Maybe."

The alarm came, informing them that a challenger was ready at the entrance, cutting short their conversation. Diantha eyed her cup of tea. "... But that's a discussion we'll have to have another time. If you take care of them for me, I should have enough time to finish this before they're ready for me. Good luck...!"

Malva left the room without saying anything in response to that, to any of it. At least there was something more immediate to focus on, but she knew that Diantha was unlikely to drop the subject.

 

\----

 

The most irritating thing about it, Malva decided, was how _audacious_ it was. She was used to that, though. Diantha's open-hearted affection. Perhaps if one had grown up with love and trust, it was easy to lavish those qualities on others. Was it better to be one or the other? Malva felt that such behavior would eventually be Diantha's downfall, but knew that just her own perspective. She knew that, if she were to voice such things to Diantha, she'd just have it turned back on her. All that fancy 'looking for the good in other people' business. _Whatever you want to believe_.

It was easy to while away one's time having imaginary conversations. To think of how a discussion could go, if Malva were to raise it. The things Diantha might or might not say. The things Malva knew she _couldn't_ say, but were safe to debate in the confines of her mind. Time passed, but still the concept rattled around her thought processes; an itch she couldn't scratch, a feeling she wasn't sure how to handle.

Broadly, Malva's thought on the matter was that it was largely a ridiculous concept to begin with, or at least one that left too many possibilities open. To 'trust' somebody was - what? Diantha had described Malva herself as being trustworthy, but that wasn't the same thing. To trust a person - to trust that they _would_ do something, or that they _wouldn't_... and she thought of Lysandre, then. In many ways, a more distant relationship (through coincidence and necessity), but Malva wouldn't have thought twice of the fact that he, of anybody, would hold her trust. She followed him because, simply, she felt that they held the same ideology. Their thoughts were not those that most people held, but they, alone, were similar. All they were doing was leading to a singular, particular end; if things lay quiet, if their paths didn't cross for a month or two or more, that didn't matter. They would meet some time in the future, still on the same page. To a certain degree, this was true for all of those that Malva knew of in Team Flare - a closeness borne of something other than mere _friendship_. Diantha wanted shopping dates and cafe lunches, but those within the organization - from the grunts to the scientists and beyond - knew the value of the _goal_. Malva trusted them not to reveal her position, but also knew that one could never be too careful. They all understood the importance of secrecy; that didn't mean that the possibility of leaked information was impossible. She trusted them, but she trusted herself to always be prepared for plan B. That was nothing to do with interpersonal relationships as much as it seemed simply good planning.

Time spent at the Pokémon League would often fall into easy conversation, moreso from Diantha initiating it than anything else. That level of interaction, Malva felt, she could deal with. But then Diantha would fix her with a gaze - a smile on her lips, but a resolute look in her eyes that Malva couldn't ignore - and ask, as if no time at all had passed since their previous conversations, "So, I feel it would be a little unbalanced if I didn't ask you, too - do you trust me, Malva?"

In the moment it seemed as if the question came out of nowhere, but to think of it, Malva was almost surprised Diantha hadn't said anything previously. And again, it was a question with too much behind it to answer succinctly; like Diantha's own previous statements Malva felt as if Diantha was trust _worthy_. A little flighty, sometimes, and maybe with the tendency to try to promise to do too much for too many people, but that only spoke of her open, giving nature. For better or for worse, she would always endeavor to see the best in people - a good quality for the League Champion to have, if nothing else. That point of view felt hopelessly naive to Malva's mind, but that was almost what was _cute_ about it - Diantha's trust, her outlook, _everything_. To be able to be so open only spoke of a life in which that trust had never been betrayed (or at the very least, not to the point at which it had evaporated. Malva would look to Diantha, _was there a time when I was ever like you?_ It felt hard to recall.)

( _What would it be like, to honestly be able to think like that?_ )

To that end, though, Malva wondered if the thought was really so difficult to grasp. She wouldn't tell Diantha of her secrets, but that was hardly through any fault of Diantha herself; most people, in their day-to-day lives, were not carrying around the burden of the future, the responsibility of humanity, the goals of Team Flare--...

If Diantha knew, Malva trusted her to act. _After all, we're the 'bad guys', aren't we?_ The way they saw the world around them, the way they viewed the people of their world - all of these things were diametrically opposite to one another. Perhaps, in another life, under different circumstances, they could have giggled as they shared meaningless confidence with one another--... but that wasn't the way things were, and any thought that they might be were, Malva knew, just flights of fancy. She would always wonder, though, of Diantha's reaction should Malva's connections come to light. _That would be a betrayal, wouldn't it?_... _And then what?_ Lysandre had many friends in high places, but so did Diantha - and she had things like _justice_ and _the law_ on her side. Public organizations that might object to the plan that was being hatched beneath Geosenge even as they sat there in that moment. Would Diantha lead the charge? She had the authority to do so. Likely the drive, too. It was all too easy to see her as some sort of protector of humanity, dedicated to maintaining the status quo _which would crush us all anyway, don't you see--..._

It was only an imagined circumstance, but even then, Malva could imagine Diantha looking at her - " _This isn't you, is it? You were being coerced, weren't you?_ " If that were to come to pass, Malva knew that she wouldn't deserve (and most certainly would never accept) any second chances, but if there was any one person who would want to give her that out, Diantha would be that person. _Even if all of the evidence were to prove otherwise. Even if there was no other explanation. Still, the last fragments of that shattered trust might just still endure._

_It would be of no benefit to you, but..._

Pinned into the moment by that question, Malva almost wanted to laugh. She leaned back against the couch cushions, returning Diantha's gaze with an even, measured look, even as she allowed herself a smile. "... Do you know what? Now that you mention it, I might almost say that I do. Perhaps." She pressed a finger to her cheek, as if in thought. "I wonder if you'd ever really have to prove it, though."

"Well... I'd like to think that, if the opportunity ever presented itself, I'd be able to rise to the challenge."

"Oh? You see it as a challenge, now?"

"Unless my impression is completely wrong, I don't get the feeling that your trust is something to be easily won. So for you to say that... I'm quite honored!" Diantha gently stirred at her tea. "Still, without anything to back them up, words are, simply, words. They can sound as noble as they like, but..."

"So, how would you go about proving such a thing?"

"I wonder. Do you have any suggestions?"

"I'll let you know if I think of anything."

"Please do." (Again, that look of resolute _determination--.._.) "I'll be ready."

 


End file.
